How do You Discipline Your Kids?

On Women Talk this week, my delightful Panel and I discussed the issue of Discipline.

A recent survey revealed that 60% of parents admit to giving their kids a bit of a wallop!

So the question  I put to my panel was this.  Should smacking be Banned -YES OR NO?

I’ve never heard so much dithering in all of  my life.  I was taking no prisoners however, and pushed them for an answer (what a meanie)!

Listen and share your views using the boxes below

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Poo Happens!

For ordinary folk like me, the sources of my sleepless nights are things like the bills. The ever increasing size of my behind and worrying my self sleepless wondering how many times my son will be mugged before he reaches the tender age of ten. In my world, everyday, except Saturdays, is like Dancing on Ice doing multiple triple toe loops and looking something akin to Worzel Gummidge.

For other folk on a Saturday, their CHIEF concern, their ONLY concern in life, is whether or not their nine year old sons football team, will win… their…. cup…Final!

Love my son dearly, but Saturday’s for me is when I begin to look something like a human being. No school run, no blooming homework and if I’ve been organised enough the night before – no housework either. My make up’s on, I’ve wrestled into my Spanx and the curling irons have transformed me and the Medusa inspired mop on my head, into a picture worthy of a Sotheby’s’ auction (okay, slight exaggeration, but you get my gist).

 So naturally, in between those near goal moments, I love to have a good ole natter with the parents’ at the touch line. Only problem is, the Parents don’t wanna talk with me!

Let me explain. The parents, who live this charmed existence, can’t speak! For their bulging, about- to-explode hearts, are being kicked around by fourteen tiny pairs of feet. So, the very last thing on their minds, is having a natter with Hot Totty Ingrid.

Getting Your Groove Back Tip:

The volcanic ash cloud of doom descended upon Norbury, as our team, the Eagles, with a 3-0 lost to the Colts was unable to fly on the most important day of their lives. But all is not lost. Forever equipped for such disasters, my sons’ Dad triumphantly produces a case of beer from the boot of his car. This’ll cheer everyone up, he thought. But nothing appears more difficult to swallow than a looser’s beer. Unlike a winner’s beer, which glides down the throat like velvet, a looser’s beer feels like it’s pierced with metal spikes and cascades down the throat like a hedgehog! Try as we might, the Parents, whose spirit ended at the shrill of the final whistle, look as though they’re on death row,

So I, who so loves winning, is as cool as a cookie and the parents wonder why. So I share my view on the game of life.  

I line the ball up and give it the very best shot I have then let the rhythm of life take over. I trust, that the ball will fall where it was supposed to fall at that moment in time and in the meantime, I let my hair down, learn the lesson and give thanks for the wonderful things I do have.

And that includes, my ever growing, gloriously huge behind.

Check out the Getting Your Groove Back Fortnightly Column in the South London Press, Pulse Section and the Getting Your Groove Back Chat Show on www.GenerationRadio.co.uk Friday between 1-2 pm and Wednesday at 10pm

Pushy Parenting

Discussing on the Getting Your Groove Back Show soon.  Subscribe to be kept informed of date.

Kirsty Young who is a wealthy newsreader and also married to a millionaire, condones Pushy Parents.  Well, it’s alright for You Kirst….

I’ve done it all myself.

The airy fairy Open Learning System – No formal lessons until age 7

The Pre Prep, Prepping Private School – 10 hours of homework a night!  and weekends and half term, oh yes, and over Christmas!

Finally, as victims of the recession, I witness now the State of the State system – all backed up with a Tutor or course.

Oh, and not forgetting, every after school club known to Man!

Newsreader, Kirsty Young says Pushy Parenting must stop and that we’re creating nothing more than a set of retaliating monster  hating teenagers.

I too, would share your views Kirst, if I too, had a millionaire for a husband and was living in a  huge multi million pound house. Guess I could afford to relax a little. However, the reality for the average Parent, reliant on the crap education available for our kids, is that we can’t relax! Gosh we so want to just like our parents did – but we can’t.

Admittedly, I’ve got my groove back now, after three moves in three months after leaving the private sector.  My son has finally settled into a lovely school, where he is being suitably challenged.

So does Pushy Parenting work?  Parents after all only want their best for their kids. To bring about maybe the next Kirsty Young perhaps.  Or, are they doing them more harm than good?

That’s the fifty million dollar question.

Getting your groove back advice:

We’ll be discussing this and issues relating to the state vs the private school education system to see if us parents simply need to take chill pill OR have every reason to be panicking our little heads off!

Please share this info with other parents using the link below.

To get the best education for your kids – would you lie?

CLICK HERE: AUDIO –  IS IT EVER COOL TO LIE TO GET THE BEST FOR YOUR KIDS?

Don’t get me wrong, I am dead impressed that Pearl Lowe and her drummer husband Danny Goffey have opted for state education for their son Alfie.  It shows humility, proves they are down to earth and they haven’t lost the plot in this fame game.

However, they lived in Hampstead at the time, so lets be honest guys,  they’re hardly going to face the same issues of parents who are from less desirable areas and still wanting the best for their kids are they? I’ve nothing against Hampsteadites, I have some lovely friends who live there.  It’s not representative of the country on a whole however.

Today it was revealed that the government is thinking of upping the ante by imposing steeper sanctions, such as fines, to  those parents who are caught lying in order to get their kids into a decent school. It’s like a double edged sword isn’t it?  Tell the truth, send him to a failing school and then stress yourself out everyday thereafter.  Or, Lie and risk a criminal record.

Last week,  deputy head Nigel Duncan, was caught out falsifying paperwork to get his kids into a decent secondary school.

However, the government feels that just removing the kids from the school alone is not enough of a deterrent for other passionate parents thinking of doing the same.

My View:

Indeed, lying is not cool and certainly not a cool value to be passing onto your child.  I just kind of feel that the point is being missed here.

I would like to meet however, the Mum or Dad who doesn’t give a hoot about what school their kid goes to.

Due to financial difficulties, I had to move my child from a private school into the state system.  We were lucky because my son was transferring at year 4.  This meant there was more chance of a decent school having a place available.  Moreover, there is less people looking for a place at this time and more people moving homes which helped things.

It still took a lot of work however… many man hours to find that decent school.  I  was simply not prepared to send my son to a school where the ofstead results was less than a 2,  which equates to an overall standard of ‘good’.  In fact, if I’m going to be honest, my groove would of been up in the air had I been unable to get him into a a  school that was not a’ one’, outstanding – which is the highest accolade.

Okay, so ultimately I got him into what is  a ‘one’ outstanding school.  It’s a lovely school, the kids are great and the parents are lovely.  My son comes home happy every day. It’s definitely a more creative way of  learning.

However, there is a huge, huge, huge difference in the level of the work being taught. It is at the very least, one year behind the Private system, yet its the kids from the Private system that my little un will be up against when applying for grammar school places.

I dread to think of the levels being taught in a school with an ofstead score of  four or even five for that matter.

The fact that parents are being forced to lie to get their kids a decent education and to get best for their kids, is tragic.  To have to lie so as not to have to settle for second best is a crime.  Indeed, to have to pretend to be church a goer when your not to get into the school of your choice,  should surely make the government stop and think about the failing schools parents are trying to avoid – by whatever means necessary!

Furthermore, why should I  have to resort to putting my child into a failing school because it’s on my doorstep, is what’s available and because I don’t live in Hampstead?

So the question is, would I lie to get my son into a decent school if I couldn’t afford to live in an area such as Hampstead?  Or, would I  risk sending him to a failing school if that was the only option  available to me – putting at risk both my son’s and my own emotional health for one and him reaching his full potential, as the other?  The sheer stress just thinking about it causes me is indescribable.

So,  if the truth be known, I would either keep him at home or lie.

DOES THAT MAKE ME A BAD PERSON OR SOMEONE WHO JUST WANTS THE BEST FOR THEIR KID?

YOUR THOUGHTS BELOW PLEASE.

Baby Einstein Scam – Hothousing your Kid?

Okay, it’s official Mums – we were done!

It’s been reported that Disney is being sued over the claims made about the baby Einstein Videos.  Basically, in a nutshell, its effectiveness at turning your kid into the next Einstein protege has been proven to be a load of…well, bo..”%*/?ks. I’m sorry to swear, I’m just a tad annoyed.  I should of said nonsense.  A load of nonsense.

I can not tell you the amount of time I spent trying to get this bloomin(g) video for my son when he was a baba.  Everywhere was sold out at the time – thank gawd for that.

Anyway, when it comes to my son’s education, I’ve been guilty of doing the whole hothousing, private schools and tutor thing and have also delved a bit into the whole gone with the fairies, bohemian style education.

Indeed, there were issues with them both.  Both also had their positives.  With the private school, the hour and a half homework sessions everyday after school and during the holidays was a nightmare.  Combine this with every after school activity known to man, simply strip children of their childhood groove.

On the contrary, the airy fairy more laid back, open learning system  schools are living on planet mars.  The children are pleasant enough, truly very pleasant in fact.  Delightful and confident.  Just as thick as shit.

Getting your groove back tip:

No one knows your kid like you do.  Each are different with their own unique personalities and style.  You simply have to pick a school that is conducive with your childs personality.  If for example, you have an academic kid where reciting his times tables before bed time is their idea of fun, then an academic type school would be a walk in the park for them.  You’d be doing them an injustice if this was not nurtured.

Conversely, if your kid is more creative in style or sporty, then choose a school accordingly.  A solely academic environment will cause them nothing but stress. A creative or sporty environment on the other hand, will simply make them come into their own.  Some may see this as a leap of faith but just think of the many creative and sporty personalities we see on the TV today.

I have huge admiration for my neighbours who have sent their two boys to two different schools according to their personality’s.  One is independent, boards and loves it.  The other who is more of a Mummy’s boy and a bit clingy but incredibly sporty, goes to a great school nearby.

The key thing to remember is not to live our lives through our children. What may have worked for you education wise, may not necessarily work for them. It takes brave parents to do what’s right for their kid and not their mates kid, or the Joneses.