Dating a Toy Boy

The artist Sam Taylor Wood, is up the spout for her 19 year old Toy Boy lover – Good for Her!

Nineteen year olds seem to be in the new ‘Accessory’.  Tad too young for me, I must say – but you go girl!

Getting your groove back advice;

I always advise, that you’ve simply got to open up your options when you’re looking for someone new.  ’Remember, noting has meaning except he meaning you give it and if you keep doing the same thing, you’ll get the same results.

Share this advice with someone else in need using the boxes below. X

Life after Divorce – How to Break Up without Breaking Down

It takes two to fight. If you stop fighting, they’ll be no fight and your ex will stop fighting too!

Madonna said she felt like jumping off of a cliff.  Paul McCartney said he took the positives out of the situation; no More arguing, no More nagging, no More Heather – PEACE at last!

Click Link for Audio Clip for Live Show of, Life After Divorce (press play then wait 30 secs)

Life after a divorce or after a break up from a long term serious relationship can be an emotional nightmare, often including bouts of depression and feelings of deep regret that can last a very long time.  It’s the end of the fairy tale that many simply struggle to get over.

On my Getting Your Groove back show, I was joined by Bill and Francesca from the Divorce Recovery Workshop.

There were moments when we laughed and moments when I had tears in my eyes .  There was moments too when we  all just simply reflected.

Bill, rightly so, is holding on to the dream of perhaps one day remarrying again and still believes in the institution if marriage and I think that’s GROOVE.  Why should one situation dictate the rest of his life.  Just three years has passed so naturally some pain is still evident.  Such a beautiful man, for sure, I wanted to take the pain from out of his heart, but then I know too, I’d be depriving him of the beautiful lessons there are about self to learn along the way.

For Fran,  whose ex husband no longer sees the children, marraige was a road she would rather not travel down again and happily settled with a new boyfriend. Fran was positive and upbeat and certainly had her groove back.

As for myself, for quite a while now I’ve been happy by myself with the thought of living with someone filling me with dread. Every day I’m smiling and loving my career path which simply consumes my days. Perhaps if and when I meet the right person, I appreciate my thoughts on the matter may indeed change.  In the meantime however, Groove is about having fun – which I sure do.

So is there life after divorce?

What was most apparent was that all three of us had different experiences and all at different levels of our recovery. There were times during the interview when I just wanted to hug Bill and tell him that is all gonna be okay.  Trust me I’ve been there and I know your pain.

The key areas for Getting your Groove Back was this:

• Join a support Group such as DWR.  Your friends and family will probably tire of listening to you, but your friends here won’t.
  
  
• Don’t beat yourself up.  It can take quite a few years before you feel yourself again. Each day however, is a step towards recovery.  The lessons on the way can be fun and so rewarding. As long as you keep waking, you’ll discover things about yourself you never knew existed.
  
• Get out of the emotional swimming pool.  As long as you’re swimming around is this pool of anxiety, anger, guilt and fear, you can’t think clearly and it prevents you from applying intellect to the situation.
  
• It takes two to fight.  If you stop fighting, they’ll be no fight and your ex spouse will eventually follow suit.
  

GYGB Shows, Live between 7-8pm Every Thursday by CLICKING HERE at Sydenham Radio.co.uk.

You can email me during the show on studio@sydenhamradio.co.uk, if you would like to ask my guests or myself any questions, or would like to share your own experiences.

Or email me here prior to the show if you have any issues you would like us to discuss.

Are you married to a Control Freak?

LISTEN HERE AUDIO: Are you married to a control freak?

The Katie and Peter splitting story has been rinsed in the press so much that its beginning to bore the absolute pants off of me.

However, there was a recent story about these guys that caught my eye only because there were certain elements that resonated with me.  Now, it’s possible that he is not a control freak and this is just a bit of clever PR spin on Katie’s side.  However, there were details that bought back memories of a control freak who I was once with, so raised the issue of controlling men.

Now Katie’s old mate said that in the early stages of their relationship, Pete was dead jealous of Katie’s thriving career when he was doing bugger all.

Also sounds a bit like the recent claims in the Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday about Ashley Cole’s jealousy towards his wife now she’s more successful than he is.  It seems even the female celebs are not immune to the effects of a husbands ego when they are doing better than he is.

Now her mate claimed three chilling areas about Pete’s controlling nature.  They were that he:

• Hated when she wore revealing clothing
• Tried to stop their friendship
• Appeared like a Mr nice guy to everybody else on the outside world which in turn, makes you sound like you like a nutter when you complain about him

And that’s exactly what my ex did do to me!!!

Indeed, such is the extent of Pete’s PR spin, I reckon he needs a couple of burly weight lifters just to support the ever growing halo above his head.

If the claims are true, like Saint Pete, if I wore a top with just a millimetre of my chest showing, my ex would insist that I don a polo neck.

He’d often knock my friends saying that they weren’t true friend and after slating him to my mates, (deep down I always knew he was a toss pot), on meeting him they would say HOW LOVELY HE WAS!

Spooky or what?

For the record, I’m no huge fan of Katie Price either and this is possibly PR spin for her too. She’s probably the last person I’d opt for having a coffee with.  Regardless, it raises the issue of controlling men.  Therefore, right is right and wrong is wrong and if he was jealous of her in the early days and tried to control her due to his own insecurities, lack of career success in those days and damaged ego, then that’s simply not GROOVY.  It’s Pants in fact and I’m glad Kate’s got rid of your sorry ass if that was the case Pete.  I appreciate that this usually means that the guy has his issues too, but we have to protect ourselves.

Why do I say that? Look at what happened to Katie Piper.  That sick ex-boyfriend of hers who arranged for Sulphuric acid to be thrown in her face.  It starts from emotional abuse this stuff and it’s not okay.  It starts from emotional abuse and has the potential of getting much, much worse.

Getting your groove back tip.

Emotional abuse often leads to physical abuse according to REFUGE, the amazing support organisation for women suffering from both from physical and mental abuse.

I lived in fear too.  Feared that if I ever left my ex, he too would also throw acid in my face.  Not because he loved me – oh no.  But because his very existence was dependent on having control over me because without that control, he was nothing!

It happened to a friend of mine, many years back.  I still feel the pain in my heart today as I did then when I saw what this inhumane monster had done her beautiful face.  On throwing the acid into her face he said, if I can’t have you, then nobody will’.   The damage, even after the best skin grafts in the world, is indescribable. Please let this be a warning to you!

Understand ladies, it is usually a weak insecure man who chooses to exert control in this way.  You must seek help and not bury the issue under the carpet. Once you start talking about it, it’s no longer in the dark, will then serve to empower you and ultimately release you from the shackles.

PS:  Don’t forget also that the support group Refuge deal with issues relating to both Emotional and Physical Abuse.  Click here for further information.

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Ashley Jealous of Cheryl Cole? How to Kick a Jealous Partner to the Kerb

Indeed, he was the famous one when they first met but now with Cheryl featured on just about every magazine shelf at the moment, a successful TV career, a number one single and album has made him into…well not a lot now, according to the Mail on Sunday.

The article effectively stated that in order to steal her GROOVE, he wouldn’t attend the party she had organised to celebrate her single reaching number one.

Getting Your groove back tip:

You never really know if these articles are true, but certainly I know that jealousy can occur when one party is deemed more successful than an other.  Usually also, the route is due to deep routed insecurities on the males part.

If jealousy exists in your home, Sod him – carry on with your party anyway. Believe me I’ve done it.  Tried to reduce myself so  that he can feel better about himself.  It doesn’t work.  He’ll still remain an insecure prick.  Just know when it’s time to move on so that he can find himself a weak babe to dominate whilst you go onto find someone who can handle it!

If you’ve been through a similar situation I’d like to hear from you.

Why having a Toy Boy is Groovy!

Artist Sam-Taylor Wood, aged 41 has certainly GOT HER GROOVE BACK, with plans to marry her 19 year old top boy lover.

Personally I think it’s fantastic!

Must admit, I’ve always fancied guys a tad younger than myself.  Their bodies just seem a bit fitter and really, the idea of doing it with a crinkly old man, even if he’s wealthy, fills me with dread.

I remember dating a much older man to myself once.  He was quite wealthy. Very wealthy in fact. All was going well, until that dreaded bedroom moment.

On dropping his pants, he revealed a pair of  huge sparkling white Y Fronts with skinny crinkly legs sticking out of each hole.

I’m sorry, call me prudish, childish, superficial, stupid, small mined, whatever; but I just couldn’t do it.  The deed that is. I was completely turned off.  I’m trying to grow up, really I am.  I know it’s childish, but I’m trying.

Getting Your Groove Back Tip:

40’s is the new 20’s with more and more young celebs dating older women or vice versa.  Look at Madonna and Jesus too – great eh!  Gone are the days that when our hubbies left us for a younger model, meant life was over for us.  Oh no, quite the contrary in fact – now it seems life has only just begun!  Whoohoooo!!!!

X Factor – Danyl Looses his Groove

The UK is gripped by it and I have to admit,  so am I.

It peeves me to no end when one of my mummy mates invites me round for supper or something when all I want to do is curl up on the sofa for my weekly guilty pleasure.

It was a bit sad that Daniel had the groove kicked out of him this week because all the stuff written about him in the papers.  This led to a rather sombre performance which upset me greatly because each week, my little devil horns pop out of my head whilst I pray that he drops that microphone he keeps slinging from one hand to the other.

Then there’s Jamie Archer, aka Three Afro’s by my son and I because he looks like a poodle with an afro on each side of his head and another one on top.  He however,  disappointedly sorted his hair out this week also.

It soon won’t be worth watching if everyone starts looking and acting normal!

Getting Your Groove back Tip:

Support the twins Guys!!!! They are so bloody stupid and pissing everyone off,  it makes the show a bit of a giggle.

Hey – there’s people dying out there.  You’ve got to have a larf!

Happy Halloween – Except for Sean Wayans

Geez, have we forgotten how to laugh?

Met one of my Mummy mates for lunch in that fab new cafe in the Lido in Brockwell Park and  mentioned to her how much I’ve always wanted to host a Halloween party for adults.

Well stone the crows – Oh no she said.  That’s devil worshipping!

I at the time of course, thought she was absolutely banana’s.

Another madness.  Sean Wayans attended a Halloween Party this year and didn’t wear a costume? Exactly, how much effort would it of taken.  Why did he bother to go?

Moreover, in today’s Daily Mail, there’s an article saying the same thing from the Vatican calling Halloween anti-Christian.

I was brought up in religion so have a great respect for religious issues and beliefs.  Religion is at the core of my being.

But Bloody Blimey Mate - It’s just a bit of fun, you know, giggle giggle, ha ha…

Getting Your Groove Back Tip:

God wants Spiritual fruits not Religious Nuts.

Baby Einstein Scam – Hothousing your Kid?

Okay, it’s official Mums – we were done!

It’s been reported that Disney is being sued over the claims made about the baby Einstein Videos.  Basically, in a nutshell, its effectiveness at turning your kid into the next Einstein protege has been proven to be a load of…well, bo..”%*/?ks. I’m sorry to swear, I’m just a tad annoyed.  I should of said nonsense.  A load of nonsense.

I can not tell you the amount of time I spent trying to get this bloomin(g) video for my son when he was a baba.  Everywhere was sold out at the time – thank gawd for that.

Anyway, when it comes to my son’s education, I’ve been guilty of doing the whole hothousing, private schools and tutor thing and have also delved a bit into the whole gone with the fairies, bohemian style education.

Indeed, there were issues with them both.  Both also had their positives.  With the private school, the hour and a half homework sessions everyday after school and during the holidays was a nightmare.  Combine this with every after school activity known to man, simply strip children of their childhood groove.

On the contrary, the airy fairy more laid back, open learning system  schools are living on planet mars.  The children are pleasant enough, truly very pleasant in fact.  Delightful and confident.  Just as thick as shit.

Getting your groove back tip:

No one knows your kid like you do.  Each are different with their own unique personalities and style.  You simply have to pick a school that is conducive with your childs personality.  If for example, you have an academic kid where reciting his times tables before bed time is their idea of fun, then an academic type school would be a walk in the park for them.  You’d be doing them an injustice if this was not nurtured.

Conversely, if your kid is more creative in style or sporty, then choose a school accordingly.  A solely academic environment will cause them nothing but stress. A creative or sporty environment on the other hand, will simply make them come into their own.  Some may see this as a leap of faith but just think of the many creative and sporty personalities we see on the TV today.

I have huge admiration for my neighbours who have sent their two boys to two different schools according to their personality’s.  One is independent, boards and loves it.  The other who is more of a Mummy’s boy and a bit clingy but incredibly sporty, goes to a great school nearby.

The key thing to remember is not to live our lives through our children. What may have worked for you education wise, may not necessarily work for them. It takes brave parents to do what’s right for their kid and not their mates kid, or the Joneses.

Jealousy aka Failed Potential Syndrome!

She’s a slim and pretty Mum whose married to a hunk who is charming and witty.  The kids are beautiful, perfect and smart and they all live happily together in a beautiful home in a lovely area.

The nightmare thickens – they are all really lovely people. You can’t even hate them.

Jealous?

According to an article in today’s news we are living in an era where it is deemed possible to have it all, so when people we know have something that we secretly wish for, we suffer from

Failed Potential Syndrome

aka, ENVY.

A common response to the above scenario therefore is, why her and not me.

Effects your lifestyle too!

The situation also extends itself to one’s career where many felt that their current profession is boring and wished they had their best friends job.

Personally, I’ve always felt that there were two types on envy.  The healthy envy, where another persons situation seeks only to inspire you and, the extremely unhealthy envy, which eats away at you and causes you to attack,  gossip about or put down those you are jealous of.

I think if it’s that important to you, anything is indeed possible and is more about doing something about your own unhappy situation – no matter how small.

In truth, it’s so much easier to sit there and moan about and to come up with a billion reasons as to why you are where you are or doing what your doing.

Getting your Groove Back Tip:

Stop busying yourself with other people.  We were all born with our own unique gifts.  Figure out what is your unique gift and focus on that.  You’ll be amazed what you’ll discover about yourself.

And no, it’s never too late to make a change (that’s just another one of your excuses).

Styling Tips – Find YOUR Style

It is much easier for Mums to shop for clothes these days as most shops have their target audiences in mind.  Once you find a shop that works for you, stick with it.  However, try to avoid buying everything they have on the dummy as this just makes you a walking advert for the shop and shows a lack of creativity.

Moreover, with shops such as Primark, Matalan, New Look, Zara and TK Maxx selling fabulous pieces at great prices, there really is no excuse  for Mums not to look good these days.  The secret is mixing cheap with slightly more expensive or cheap and more expensive accessories.  Never, ever, do all cheap!

Indeed, the challenge lies in making sense of it all and picking out items that will suit and flatter You.

As a starting point concentrate on working with the colour of your skin and eyes and work with colours that is part of your overall colour tonal range.

For example, dark skinned and black skinned Mums can’t go wrong with Autumnal browns and rustic  yellows and oranges.  For Blondes and pale skinned Mums, you can get away with black as the contrast looks great against your skin tones. Don’t go too overboard on black however, unless you have a a really strong personality to match it.  Too much black, on someone with a softer personality will effect on their moods and suppress them.

Getting your Groove Back Tip:

Don’t make the mistake of seeing something nice on someone else and thinking that it will look great on you.  Pay them a compliment by telling them the item or that colour is lovely and looks great on them.

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