Understanding the Men in Your Life

You can not understand yourself until you

understand the huge influence your parents

have on your life.

Women to Blame for Rape

We women really are our own worst enemy.  What makes us think that men have such little control over themselves that even if we’re stark naked in bed, passions have exploded the richter scale, their privates are right there at that ever so crucial point, that they don’t have the ability to stop themselves if we so request? Or should I say, why do we feel we have no right to tell them to stop, if things have got this far? Why do we feel, that we can’t change our minds?

Well I have news for you.  We can change our minds and if we do and he forces the issue – it’s RAPE!!!

Ask any bloke, if faced with this situation and passions had progressed to this crucial point, if he wouldn’t have the ability to stop? Pissed off he might be yes, I agree – but he does have the ability to stop.

Yet in this modern day and age, we as women feel that if we wear a short skirt, it gives some out of control, dirty old sod, the right to pursue us and forcibly abuse us into full on sex? By wearing a short skirt we are somehow to blame because poor, lack-of-control-men, just can’t help themselves.

It drives me absolutely nuts when I read stuff like this.  So many women bark on about being modern and claim to be moving with the times, yet still able to come out with nonsense like this, bringing me to the conclusion that they must have been born this big.

I watched the film Precious with family and friends. There was a scene where Precious’, who was abused and impregnated by her Father, witnessed her Mother blaming her, for the sexual abuse she was subjected to by her Father. Her Mother proclaimed that she must have enjoyed it, because she didn’t tell anyone

At that point, my 80yrd old Aunty, quipped, that the Mother was right. The abused young girl most certainly must have enjoyed it, because she did indeed, fail to report the abuse to her Mum or anyone else for that matter! Needless to say, we all briskly jumped down my Aunties throat, negating all evidence of any future thick comments such as this, leaving her mouth, in the future.

That aside, the question I ask is this.  In this, the 21st Century, have we, as mature, educated women, moved on from making such antiquated statements like my Aunts?

Well if the release of  recent research is anything to go by, I guess not. Over fifty percent of women say that women are to blame for rape committed against them because of what they wear.  I guess what these fifty percent of women feel is that if a man sees a woman half naked, by his very nature he simply can’t help himself, therefore she is responsible. Extraordinary!

So let me spell it out for you. We can wear what we blooming hell we want, when we want and how we want.

It gives no man or boy, no right, to force sex upon us and if he does, that my dear, is Rape.

Furthermore, for the few women out there who think it’s cool to cry wolf, you too should be punishable by the same jail term as Rapists.  The world has no place for people like you, that has made your deceit the media focus and deterring from the real, more damaging issue of actual Rape cases!

Getting Your Groove Back Advice:

Despite what the papers say, there are some wonderful support groups out there to support victims of Rape and from my own experience, the Police handle such issues sympathetically and with care.

You are not to blame, despite the views of the many unintelligent people around you.

On the 4th March, I’ll be interviewing a representative from One In Four - an amazing support group that helps to get the groove back into victims of sexual abuse and sexual violence.  Listen Live by logging in online to Sydenham Radio.co.uk at 7pm.

Log onto my Extra Help pages for details of your local support groups.

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Eating for Two is a Myth

Hand Care Advice

Remember the skin on your hands is thinner than the skin on your face, so needs extra special care.  It is also a sure sign of ageing.  Check out Madonna’s hands next to her face – they really are a give away!

It was something one of my toy boy admirers said to me once and it has  stuck with me ever since.

‘You can always tell the age of a woman by her hands’!

Moisturise 4 times a day and always have some lush, indulgent, thick hand cream by the bathroom sink. Remember too, to slap loads on before you go to bed.

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Confidence

Discussed on the Getting Your Groove Back  show.  To listen to the show, check back soon for the podcast.

Sharon Osbourne and Katie Price were voted the most confident celebrity women in a recent survey.

Women have a total of 38 negative thoughts about themselves a day, according to recent research… and that’s not just about their bodies.

It was also reported that the majority of children are unhappy becuase of how they look – Crikey!

So is confidence something we’re born with?  Is it genetic so there is simply nothing we can do about it?  Or are we born confident, but life’s ups and downs simply strips it away?

PODCAST OF SHOW COMING SOON.  CHECK BACK SOON

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Women Advice

Coming Soon – Check Alternative Links

Getting Your Groove Back

It’s not the cards your dealt, but how you deal with them that matters…

The one thing the writer of this book, African American writer Sapphire, was clear to bring across, was that despite her woes, Precious was not a victim.

This is the story of child abuse – impregnated twice by her father, physical abuse by her Mother and emotional abuse by both.  Many a situation that is happening in our homes TODAY, but yet denied, ignored and buried under the carpet. Women, Men and Children walking around with a guilt that is not there’s.

It is a situation not prejudiced by class nor the colour of your skin, yet can strip a person of their self esteem, their confidence and ultimately their Groove.

Getting your Groove Back Advice:

No matter how long ago the abuse took place, speaking out will empower you.  For the abuser, it is an issue of Power, not sex and more often than not you will discover that the abuser was probably abused themselves.

There are just amazing support groups out there that deal with all areas of abuse, so your story will come as no shock to them.  Speaking out, is the first step towards Getting Your Groove Back!

Whitney’s lost Groove – How to Keep Yours

Poor old Whit did a such a poor job on the x factor the other day I couldn’t help but wonder who in heavens name is mentoring her.  Someone in her close knit circle should of seen the state she was in and not have allowed that performance to go ahead.

She looked awful, is clearly still not well and the drugs have certainly had an effect on her voice.

I was embarrassed for her.  So saddened also that a Man was at the source of her destruction and able to reduce our Diva to what we see today.

Today however, I am reassured by a video I’ve just seen of her on TV.  She looked fab and sounded great too. Just like good old Whit.

Getting Your Groove Back Tip:

• I know from experience that escaping something one is emotionally trapped in is like climbing out of quick sand.
  
• It’s a journey to fully get your groove back and every step made is a milestone.  One has to keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel.  It’s when there’s no light it feels pretty awful.  The light will reappear however, so never give up becuase that light does come back. It may be small at first – but eventually it grows and grows and gets bigger and bigger
• Then Before you know it… you’re at the beginning of Getting Your Groove Back!

Styling Tips

LISTEN HERE: VICTORIA BECKHAMS SHAG Loving Victoria Beckham’s new hair do featured in the press recently, it’s brilliant – a huge improvement on her spiky look.

Victoria has real angular, pointy features so this new hair do is great for her as it softens them.

The pixie hair do she’s sported up until was not groovy - especially with her being so skinny.  She looked a bit like a chisel.

Her new hairstyle however, certainly gives her GROOVE.

Getting your Groove back tip:

Check out your face and be honest with yourself.

It’s all about counter balancing.  If you have pointy features go for a softer hair do.  If you have a rounded face and rounded features, go for a  straight hair do to elongate your face. X

X Factor – Danyl Looses his Groove

The UK is gripped by it and I have to admit,  so am I.

It peeves me to no end when one of my mummy mates invites me round for supper or something when all I want to do is curl up on the sofa for my weekly guilty pleasure.

It was a bit sad that Daniel had the groove kicked out of him this week because all the stuff written about him in the papers.  This led to a rather sombre performance which upset me greatly because each week, my little devil horns pop out of my head whilst I pray that he drops that microphone he keeps slinging from one hand to the other.

Then there’s Jamie Archer, aka Three Afro’s by my son and I because he looks like a poodle with an afro on each side of his head and another one on top.  He however,  disappointedly sorted his hair out this week also.

It soon won’t be worth watching if everyone starts looking and acting normal!

Getting Your Groove back Tip:

Support the twins Guys!!!! They are so bloody stupid and pissing everyone off,  it makes the show a bit of a giggle.

Hey – there’s people dying out there.  You’ve got to have a larf!

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