ABOUT/CONTACT

 

Hi I’m Ingrid, a Life Coach,  Columnist and Radio Broadcaster who specialises in London Family Life, Parenting and Education, Confidence and Relationship issues.

 I am the producer and presenter the ‘Community Show’ for Westside Radio 89.6FM, every Monday and Wednesday between 2-4 pm,covering local issues on Family, Education, Youth, Health and Parenting. I write a regular Column for the South London Press to help Parents get Their Groove Back and articles for Broadsheets such as The Guardian on Education.

Please call 07788 736604 or email ingridmarsh@btinternet.com to contact me.

Modern Day Family Life, as much as we try, is not like The Waltons or Little House on the Prairie.

The reality is this. Blended families, comprising of step children and half brothers and sisters, are now the norm and Divorce is on the increase.  As a result, so too is single and lone parenting. Recent research also reveals our children and teenagers are unhappier than ever and Mothers, are more stressed than they were in the Fifties - when they were living on rations! 

The landscape of the Modern Day Family has changed. 

So first and foremost, in order to have a ‘blissful’ family life its imperative that you start treating those Glossy Magazines for what they are, adult fairy tale books.

Second, it would be useful – very useful infact, if you were to adpot mantra of – Nothing has meaning except for the meaning you give it!

This allows you to define the world around you as opposed to the things around you defining you.

Now we’ve got all that out of the way, read on.

My aim in life is to help families through the humps and bumps of everyday life.

To put that Spring in their step, that Magic back in their mojo,

and have them looking and feeling absolutely Great again!

 About me:

 In my younger days when I was an Air Stewardess, I was horrified when I was told, that in the case of a plane ditching, the parents were to don their own life jackets before putting them on their children. I said to the  trainer; ‘Surely we should save the child first?’

Her response was this:

‘You have to save yourself first in order to save the child.

 

So let’s kick start with the way it was….

 I had a successful business which fulfilled my goal of being self sufficient. Owned my own home which gave me the financial security I desired. Was able to comfortably pay for the style of schooling I valued for my son and able to travel extensively.

I achieved all this because I bought my first home at the age 23, took many risks, some good, some not so good and had worked my butt off since the age of 16.

Now my unique and wonderful family comprises of my son and a very fat Cat called Max.

My kids Dad

Relationship wise, I split from my child’s father when my baby was just six months old.  However, I research reveals that the next best thing for kids not living WITH their parents, are happy separated ones.  So, although at times it is a strenuous friendship with many a bitter story to tell, for the sake of our son and a balanced child, I’ve  forgiven a lot to enable us to still laugh and have fun together. So after much hard work, forgiveness and loop jumping, it’s a cool set up.

The Boyfriend post kids Dad

Boyfriend post kids Dad developed the mental illness, bipolar disorder when his ex partner ran off with his kids without trace. In my quest to make him better, I lost myself in the process.  Juggling my Son, my business and his recovery depleted me of every living cell I had in my body. I hired a private detective, sought solicitors and eventually managed to track down the Mother of his children to reunite him with his kids. It was a very difficult time.  Although, in truth, what freaked me out the most, was witnessing a tall, strapping handsome young man reduced to what he had become through this illness.  I will never forget it. Second to splitting up with the father of my child, it was the most traumatic time of my life.

During the turmoil, my business suffered immensely and subsequently went down the drain.  I struggled through huge financial difficulties and nearly lost it all. After his recovery, he no longer wanted me and went back to the previous partner who had ran off with his kids.  It’s sounds like a bloomin’ soap opera, right? I guess this is why no family issue is ever to much for me to understand.

At the end of it all, while trying to be a great Mum, a supportive and caring partner and a business woman, I lost track of who I was and what I stood for and subsequently my self esteem went down the loo.  I was always known as a bubbly, happy, fearless, fun, brave, go getting individual. So when this turmoil came to an end, most tragic of all, was that I lost my Groove.

Depression

I went through a pretty crap time myself after that.  The light had completely gone and I couldn’t understand what this life thing was all about.

I guess it was my son that kept me going through the darker times.  Just thinking of the sadness it would cause him if Mummy wasn’t around anymore, was too much to bear.  So that’s what kept me alive. My Son.

Despite having an incredibly supportive sister and friends around me, I knew at the end of the day that in order to get out of this crap feeling,  ultimately I had to save myself.

How I got my Groove Back without the pills

Feeling depresssed?  I’ve been there. Suicidal? Yeah I’ve been there too.  Feel like your just not able to cope? Been there and got a varirty of T Shirts to prove it.

So, not only was I down, I was also at a crossroads in my career, so looked into this life coaching thing I kept hearing about.  I completed an introductory course to start off with.

The information felt like a small little tweeny light.  The more I studied it, the more light flooded in and the more a whole new world started to open back up again for me.

The aftermath…

After two disastrous relationships and going through those terrible dark times, a change had to come. After one of those ‘what’s it all about’ moments,  I became extremely passionate about making a change for other parents who try to be everything to everybody and the difficulties their children face when things aren’t so ‘hunky dorey’. 

In truth, I have become obsessive about making that change which meant studying in great detail about how our minds works. I read every book recommended to me. Attended every course, studied every bit of research available. I became obsessive in wanting to know why two people, faced with the exact same situation, had  completely different coping mechanisms. Why some relationships lasted all of two minutes while others lasted happily for years, for example. why some kids skip and hop through change and others crumble.

It’s all gone a bit crazy for our kids too….

Studies show that Teenagers and Children are unhappier than ever before.  That grieves me. Especially with my new found knowledge, I’m now aware if they were to only change their thinking, half their problems would go away.  The biggest issue with the youth from my standpoint is that they let the things and the people around them define who they are. And as for the parents, we are desperately trying to live our lives through our kids.

So in my usual, I can save the world attitude, I now dedicate my time and energy to our youth and their parents. Their parents too, in many cases need to recognise that until they put themselves first, have a relationship with themselves first, they are in fact at risk of loosing the very teenager they are trying to control!  Parents need to respect difference and develop the courage to take that leap of faith.

I am now on a complete career change too, and studying to become a radio presenter to help parents and their families.  This career change, is the final part of my own getting my groove back campaign.  I risk loosing a lot in the process, but also gaining a whole lot more in the long run.  So you see, I practice what I preach.

I love laughing.  There is always a smile on my face again.  My approach therefore is fun and laid back, because hey, at the end if the day shit happens. Its how you clear it up what counts.

 Furthermore and most importantly, my mantra is this;

Nothing,  has meaning, except for the meaning you give it.

If you’re going through a challenging time such as a Parent, in your Family,  difficult teenagers,  overworked or depressed,  check back often for some hot tips on getting your groove back, so you too, can one day write your memoirs of how;

You ultimately Got Your Groove Back!

This site is dedicated to Women and Families everywhere.

Email me: ingridmarsh@btinternet.com or call 07788 736604