ABOUT/CONTACT
In my younger days when I was an Air Stewardess, I was horrified when we were taught that in the case of a plane ditching, the parents were to don their own life jackets first before their children. I the asked the trainer; ‘Surely we should save the child first?’ ‘You have to save yourself first in
order to save the child.’
So What’s Groove!
It’s that Spring in your step, That Magic in Your mojo,
and has you Feeling and Looking absolutely Great again!
I’m a mother of a wonderful boy called Max, who is 8 at the time of writing. Against all odds, I had a successful business which fulfilled my goal of being self sufficient. Owned two properties which gave me the financial security I desired. Was able to comfortably pay for the style of schooling I valued for my son and able to travel extensively.
I achieved all this because I bought my first home at the age 23, took many risks, some good, some not so good and had worked my butt off since the age of 16.
I currently live in West Dulwich with my son and Cat.
My kids Dad
Relationship wise, I split from my child’s father when my baby was six months old. However, I read some research that said the next best thing for kids who are not living with happy parents, is for them to have happy separated ones. So, although at times it is a strenuous friendship with many a bitter story to tell, for the sake of our son and a balance child, I’ve forgiven and buried a lot of pain so we can still laugh and have fun together.
The Boyfriend
Boyfriend post baby developed the mental illness, bipolar disorder when his ex partner ran off with his kids without trace. In my quest to make him better, I lost myself in the process. Juggling my Son, my business and his recovery depleted me of every living cell I had in my body. I hired a private detective, sought solicitors and so forth and managed to track down the Mother of his children to reunite him with his kids. It was a very difficult time. Although, in truth, what freaked me out the most; more than anything, was witnessing how a tall, strapping handsome man could be reduced to what he had become through this illness. I will never forget it. Second to splitting up with the father of my child, it was the worst time of my life.
During the turmoil, my business suffered immensely and subsequently went down the drain. I struggled through huge financial difficulties and nearly lost it all. After his recovery, he no longer wanted me and went back to the previous partner who had ran off with his kids. It’s sounds like a bloomin soap opera, right?
At the end of it all, whilst trying to be a great Mum, a supportive and caring partner and a business woman, I lost track of who I was and what I stood for and subsequently my self esteem went down the loo. I was always known as a bubbly, happy, fearless, fun, brave, go getting individual and often described as a happy go lucky ‘posh hippy’. So when this turmoil came to an end, most tragic of all, was that I lost my Groove.
Depression
I went through a pretty crap time myself after that. The light had completely gone and I couldn’t understand what this life thing was all about. I felt so suicidal and would often think of different ways of achieving this.
I guess it was my son that kept me going through the darker times. Just thinking of the sadness it would cause him if Mummy wasn’t around anymore, was too much to bear. So that’s what kept me alive. My Son.
Despite having an incredibly supportive sister and friends around me, I knew at the end of the day that in order to get out of this crap feeling, ultimately I had to save myself.
How I got my Groove Back.
I was at a crossroads in my career, so I looked into this life coaching thing I kept hearing about and did an introductory course.
The information felt like a small little tweeny light. The more I studied it, the more light flooded in and the more a whole new world started to open back up again for me.
I now have a successful relationship with myself first foremost and am back on track achieving my dreams. I am able to compartmentalise whilst raising a spectacular child. I’ve got that Zing back in my step and the Zest back in my being. Life is bloomin great again!
Mums Like Me
This in turn made me extremely passionate about making a change for other Mums, who, whilst trying to be everything to everybody, have lost their Groove in the process. Witnessing what happened to my ex-partner and subsequently what happened to me, made me obsessive too about how our minds worked. I read every book recommended to me. Went to every course, studied every bit of research available. I became obsessive in wanting to know why two people, faced with the exact same situation had completely differently coping mechanisms to get through it. For Mums especially, I think life can be particularly tough as we are expected to be everything to everybody. To be beautiful, to be great partners, to be great home makers, great parents and great lovers, to name but a few, all in the space of a few hours a day. I have so many Mummy Mates who are stressed to the hills trying to achieve it all.
It’s all gone a bit potty
Studies show that there has never been so many Mums on Prozac like there is today. That grieves me. Especially with my new found knowledge, I know now, that if we were to only change our thinking, half our problems would go away. Research also shows that Mums, despite all the mod cons available to them today, are more stressed now than they were in the 50’s when we had to survive on rations. That’s nuts.
So in my usual, I can save the world attitude, I now dedicate my time and energy to Mums like me who need to recognise that until they put themselves first, they are in fact at risk of loosing everything!
I am now on a complete career change too, and studying to become a radio presenter. I hope that through this medium I can ultimately present a modern day ‘Women’s Hour” that deals with real women and real issues. This career change, is the final part of me getting my groove back. I risk loosing a lot in the process, but also gaining a whole lot more.
I have always loved laughing. There is always a smile on my face. What’s new however, is that I no longer take life so seriously. Therefore my approach is fun and laid back, because hey, shit happens. Furthermore and most imporatantly;
Nothing, has meaning, except for the meaning you give it.
Check back often for some hot tips on getting your groove back, so you too, can one day write your memoirs of how;
You Got Your Groove Back!
This site is dedicated to Mums everywhere.
Email me: ingridmarsh@btinternet.com or call 07788 736604
