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No, the Step Kids won’t Disappear!

Sandra Bullocks, who’s married to Jesse James, admits her three step kids call her the Step Monster – which she rightly laughs off.  Not always easy I know, but it’s the only way.

Looking at the situation from everyone’s perspective is the route to perfect harmony.

Step children and Step Parenting is the product of modern day relationships – I call it dating in the 21st Century.

It’s almost unavoidable to meet and marry someone these days who does not already have children. Just today, I met a young pretty girl no older than 25, who is doing the fortnightly trips to Scotland with her boyfriend to visit his two kids from a previous relationship.  I’m sure that wasn’t the plan for her or her parents when she was growing up –  but hey ho – welcome to life!

It’s so tough for everyone involved.  Enough has already been written about the failure rates for second marraiges  attributed mainly to the issue of the step kids, so there is little point going on about the same.  We’re all about finding solutions here.

My son often refers to his Dad’s girlfriend and my boyfriend in the most unfavorable terms no matter how much I tell him not to – when really, he’s just afraid of loosing us both.  There are so just many fears and anxiety’s flying around it’s difficult to put a lid on it.

Getting Your Groove Back Advice:

• Leave discipline to the biological parent
• Understand, everything takes time.  The situation does eventually find it’s groove.
• Children often eventually feel pleased that they have additional brothers and sisters and are part of a larger family
• Try DESPERATELY to see things from everybody’s perspective
• The children didn’t ask for this situation.  You are the adult.  Children are not emotionally equipped to deal with this logically – You are, or are supposed to be!
• Consider sending the children to a kids coach, such as Naomi Richards.
• Understand that kids often feel disloyal to their biological parent if they love you too.
• Establish another relationship with them. You are not the kids replacment Mum.  They already have a mum.  You can however, be a wonderful Aunty figure to them
• Finally, STAY CALM AND CARRY ON. Smile and add humour to the situation like Sandra Bullock.  Read the blog dulwichdivorcee.com if you want a laugh.

Pushy Parenting

Discussing on the Getting Your Groove Back Show soon.  Subscribe to be kept informed of date.

Kirsty Young who is a wealthy newsreader and also married to a millionaire, condones Pushy Parents.  Well, it’s alright for You Kirst….

I’ve done it all myself.

The airy fairy Open Learning System – No formal lessons until age 7

The Pre Prep, Prepping Private School – 10 hours of homework a night!  and weekends and half term, oh yes, and over Christmas!

Finally, as victims of the recession, I witness now the State of the State system – all backed up with a Tutor or course.

Oh, and not forgetting, every after school club known to Man!

Newsreader, Kirsty Young says Pushy Parenting must stop and that we’re creating nothing more than a set of retaliating monster  hating teenagers.

I too, would share your views Kirst, if I too, had a millionaire for a husband and was living in a  huge multi million pound house. Guess I could afford to relax a little. However, the reality for the average Parent, reliant on the crap education available for our kids, is that we can’t relax! Gosh we so want to just like our parents did – but we can’t.

Admittedly, I’ve got my groove back now, after three moves in three months after leaving the private sector.  My son has finally settled into a lovely school, where he is being suitably challenged.

So does Pushy Parenting work?  Parents after all only want their best for their kids. To bring about maybe the next Kirsty Young perhaps.  Or, are they doing them more harm than good?

That’s the fifty million dollar question.

Getting your groove back advice:

We’ll be discussing this and issues relating to the state vs the private school education system to see if us parents simply need to take chill pill OR have every reason to be panicking our little heads off!

Please share this info with other parents using the link below.

Foot Massage – TIP OF THE WEEK

Take  Your  Own  Needs  Off  The  Back  Burner!…

Top Tip From Mummy For One, West Dulwich.

Oh how I would so love a salon day! I am a busy mum though and typically put my own needs on the back burner. I do however, take time for myself on occasion by making my own little spa at home.

I just soak my cares away in a nice hot bath, wrap hot wet towels around my feet and once they are soft I use my pumice. This feels great but has to be ended with my Topricin foot cream.

My feet are always tired and achy and as soon as rub some on..my feet are in a whole world of their own. It is great for inflammation and calluses too (yea, my feet are gross) and best of all it is natural! Thanks, for posting this…and maybe my sharing will help others who cannot afford a pedicure or find one for free! They can just make their own!

Mummy for one – West Dulwich

Parenting Advice

Parenting in the 21st Century is no easy task. Remember – You’re doing the best you can!

More and more I speak to parents who are bamboozled with the education options available to them, Is it wrong to smack em.  Are worried their kids are not talking, walking, reading, jumping and skipping the way other kids are. Are in disarray with new and ever changing parenting advice and are quite frankly at their wits end.

This coupled with the fact that we have to be great wives or partners, look great, run an efficient home and expected to have kids that are the smartest, politest, most groomed and the happiest kid in town, is simply not achievable.

The reality is, if we are trying to raise kids that constantly look like the kids at the front of Your baby and Junior magazine, then your already doomed.

Welcome to the real world of parenting, where

• We’re constantly questioning if we’re doing it right.
• We’re constantly comparing our kids
• We loose it now and again
• Parents often feel alone and isolated
• We’re having to start thinking of secondary schools prior to them being conceived
• We’re stressed to the hills
• Constantly reminded by our parents that it wasn’t like this in ‘their day’
• Constantly bombarded with images of celebrity Mums who seem sooooooooo happy, thus making us feel inadequate
• ME time is a swear word
• You have to constantly worry about their safety, not just on the roads and in schools, but also from the paedophile uncle or Auntie
• Everyday the newspapers quote some other statistic, fact or parenting advice from some professed parenting expert to make us feel even more inadequate or unsuitable parent
• and so the list goes on.

BUT CHIN UP! Because that what Getting Your Groove Back is all about.  Sticking you two fingers up to lists like the above and having a good old fashioned larf with yourself and the kids.

It’s parenting advice with Groove.  It consists of only three or four major rules that our in line with your core values  and throwing the rest in the bin. It’s the opposite to OCD. It’s about letting go and going back to basics adopting only the new bits that suit you.

Our parenting advice is about getting the wind back in your hair and passing that freedom onto your kids.

Our parenting advice, is about saving yourself first. It’s about putting yourslef first – before your kid.  Yes you heard right.  Before your kids.

Education:

Read our article on Gina Ford versus Angelina Jolie.  Remember, there are no right or wrongs (except child battery and putting them in black bags that is), in this parenting game.

Each child has their own finger prints as is the case of each school. So there’s no point asking another parent what’s that nursery or school is like.  You’ll get the answer of what that school like for their kid.  Their kid, just in case you didn’t know’, is not your kid. The mother you are asking is only generally able to answer the question based on her perspective for her child. So get with the programme.  Every child has their own needs.

Behavioual Issues:

I tend to have a bit of a problem with labels that parenting advisors often give to children.  Your Dyslexic, you’ve got autism oh and your an ADSH kid.  Then the moment that label is given to a child, that’s it.  That’s all the parenting advisor and the parent sees.

So here’s a test by what I mean.  I want you to close you eyes. You actually have to close them….now when you open your eyes, I want you to see all the things around you that are green.  I bet you see more green around you than you’d see ordinarily?  That’s because you were looking out for it.

That’s my point.  They say your kid’s got autism.  They give you a leaflet with the symptoms.  Then that’s all you see – in your kid that is.  It gets worst.  You then go onto the Internet and there’s more info. Much, much , much more info. Then the way your little un would do something that you would see as cute is cute no more and is now autism.

It drives me nuts – labels that is, becuase we just start living to the boundaries that labels set for us

Fashion:

A billion articles always written on stuff like this for kids.  Geez is it that important.  Whatever works for you.  That’s all I’ve got to say on the matter.

Relationship Advice

Relationship advice: see alternative links

Getting Your Groove Back

It’s not the cards your dealt, but how you deal with them that matters…

The one thing the writer of this book, African American writer Sapphire, was clear to bring across, was that despite her woes, Precious was not a victim.

This is the story of child abuse – impregnated twice by her father, physical abuse by her Mother and emotional abuse by both.  Many a situation that is happening in our homes TODAY, but yet denied, ignored and buried under the carpet. Women, Men and Children walking around with a guilt that is not there’s.

It is a situation not prejudiced by class nor the colour of your skin, yet can strip a person of their self esteem, their confidence and ultimately their Groove.

Getting your Groove Back Advice:

No matter how long ago the abuse took place, speaking out will empower you.  For the abuser, it is an issue of Power, not sex and more often than not you will discover that the abuser was probably abused themselves.

There are just amazing support groups out there that deal with all areas of abuse, so your story will come as no shock to them.  Speaking out, is the first step towards Getting Your Groove Back!

Divorced, Dating and Hating it!

Missing the tender kiss on the forehead?

A warm chest (or breasts) to snuggle into on a freezing cold night?

Or simply, miss having someone to ask you ‘how was your day today’?

BUT find this whole Internet dating thing a Blooming Nightmare!

Look out for ‘Tigers’. Yes the ‘Tiger Woods’ of the world.  Married men are also on the prowl on Internet sites.  Research shows that over a third of men on Internet sites are married.  Just like you may meet someone in a bar or club who may be married the same applies and caution needs to be applied to sites. Look out for dodgy stories that don’t quit fit and shifty eye movements.

Get a life! To spend every hour of your living day pursuing the dream of finding a man makes you desperate, unattractive and uninteresting. The more you have a life of your own, the less vulnearble you are and the more confident it makes you.

Check out our hot Dating Tips to find the one

• Register your details to be advised of future shows!

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Dating a Toy Boy

The artist Sam Taylor Wood, is up the spout for her 19 year old Toy Boy lover – Good for Her!

Nineteen year olds seem to be in the new ‘Accessory’.  Tad too young for me, I must say – but you go girl!

Getting your groove back advice;

I always advise, that you’ve simply got to open up your options when you’re looking for someone new.  ’Remember, noting has meaning except he meaning you give it and if you keep doing the same thing, you’ll get the same results.

Share this advice with someone else in need using the boxes below. X

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