Why having a Toy Boy is Groovy!

Artist Sam-Taylor Wood, aged 41 has certainly GOT HER GROOVE BACK, with plans to marry her 19 year old top boy lover.

Personally I think it’s fantastic!

Must admit, I’ve always fancied guys a tad younger than myself.  Their bodies just seem a bit fitter and really, the idea of doing it with a crinkly old man, even if he’s wealthy, fills me with dread.

I remember dating a much older man to myself once.  He was quite wealthy. Very wealthy in fact. All was going well, until that dreaded bedroom moment.

On dropping his pants, he revealed a pair of  huge sparkling white Y Fronts with skinny crinkly legs sticking out of each hole.

I’m sorry, call me prudish, childish, superficial, stupid, small mined, whatever; but I just couldn’t do it.  The deed that is. I was completely turned off.  I’m trying to grow up, really I am.  I know it’s childish, but I’m trying.

Getting Your Groove Back Tip:

40’s is the new 20’s with more and more young celebs dating older women or vice versa.  Look at Madonna and Jesus too – great eh!  Gone are the days that when our hubbies left us for a younger model, meant life was over for us.  Oh no, quite the contrary in fact – now it seems life has only just begun!  Whoohoooo!!!!

X Factor – Danyl Looses his Groove

The UK is gripped by it and I have to admit,  so am I.

It peeves me to no end when one of my mummy mates invites me round for supper or something when all I want to do is curl up on the sofa for my weekly guilty pleasure.

It was a bit sad that Daniel had the groove kicked out of him this week because all the stuff written about him in the papers.  This led to a rather sombre performance which upset me greatly because each week, my little devil horns pop out of my head whilst I pray that he drops that microphone he keeps slinging from one hand to the other.

Then there’s Jamie Archer, aka Three Afro’s by my son and I because he looks like a poodle with an afro on each side of his head and another one on top.  He however,  disappointedly sorted his hair out this week also.

It soon won’t be worth watching if everyone starts looking and acting normal!

Getting Your Groove back Tip:

Support the twins Guys!!!! They are so bloody stupid and pissing everyone off,  it makes the show a bit of a giggle.

Hey – there’s people dying out there.  You’ve got to have a larf!

Happy Halloween – Except for Sean Wayans

Geez, have we forgotten how to laugh?

Met one of my Mummy mates for lunch in that fab new cafe in the Lido in Brockwell Park and  mentioned to her how much I’ve always wanted to host a Halloween party for adults.

Well stone the crows – Oh no she said.  That’s devil worshipping!

I at the time of course, thought she was absolutely banana’s.

Another madness.  Sean Wayans attended a Halloween Party this year and didn’t wear a costume? Exactly, how much effort would it of taken.  Why did he bother to go?

Moreover, in today’s Daily Mail, there’s an article saying the same thing from the Vatican calling Halloween anti-Christian.

I was brought up in religion so have a great respect for religious issues and beliefs.  Religion is at the core of my being.

But Bloody Blimey Mate - It’s just a bit of fun, you know, giggle giggle, ha ha…

Getting Your Groove Back Tip:

God wants Spiritual fruits not Religious Nuts.

Baby Einstein Scam – Hothousing your Kid?

Okay, it’s official Mums – we were done!

It’s been reported that Disney is being sued over the claims made about the baby Einstein Videos.  Basically, in a nutshell, its effectiveness at turning your kid into the next Einstein protege has been proven to be a load of…well, bo..”%*/?ks. I’m sorry to swear, I’m just a tad annoyed.  I should of said nonsense.  A load of nonsense.

I can not tell you the amount of time I spent trying to get this bloomin(g) video for my son when he was a baba.  Everywhere was sold out at the time – thank gawd for that.

Anyway, when it comes to my son’s education, I’ve been guilty of doing the whole hothousing, private schools and tutor thing and have also delved a bit into the whole gone with the fairies, bohemian style education.

Indeed, there were issues with them both.  Both also had their positives.  With the private school, the hour and a half homework sessions everyday after school and during the holidays was a nightmare.  Combine this with every after school activity known to man, simply strip children of their childhood groove.

On the contrary, the airy fairy more laid back, open learning system  schools are living on planet mars.  The children are pleasant enough, truly very pleasant in fact.  Delightful and confident.  Just as thick as shit.

Getting your groove back tip:

No one knows your kid like you do.  Each are different with their own unique personalities and style.  You simply have to pick a school that is conducive with your childs personality.  If for example, you have an academic kid where reciting his times tables before bed time is their idea of fun, then an academic type school would be a walk in the park for them.  You’d be doing them an injustice if this was not nurtured.

Conversely, if your kid is more creative in style or sporty, then choose a school accordingly.  A solely academic environment will cause them nothing but stress. A creative or sporty environment on the other hand, will simply make them come into their own.  Some may see this as a leap of faith but just think of the many creative and sporty personalities we see on the TV today.

I have huge admiration for my neighbours who have sent their two boys to two different schools according to their personality’s.  One is independent, boards and loves it.  The other who is more of a Mummy’s boy and a bit clingy but incredibly sporty, goes to a great school nearby.

The key thing to remember is not to live our lives through our children. What may have worked for you education wise, may not necessarily work for them. It takes brave parents to do what’s right for their kid and not their mates kid, or the Joneses.

Mothers Against Guns

Lucy Cope, the mother who heads this campaign will be marching today to Downing Street with a 1000 strong foothold.

Lucy lost her own son, Damien to street crime earlier this year.

I just can’t imagine what it would be like to loose my kid in any way or form.

I take my hat off to Lucy.  Apparently, she wants the minimum sentence for those carrying guns to be raised to ten years.  She certainly has my full support.

As for me, sometimes I wonder if I’m a bit naive to the reality of what’s happening on our streets of London.  Do I have to fear for son for when he is older?  Is it likely that he’ll be walking home one evening from a football or tennis game for example and getting shot after being mugged of his mobile phone or the like?

Or, are these crimes limited to those who are involved in gun crime themselves?  A form of retaliation and a situation of living by the gun and therefore dying by the gun? If so, how did it all begin?

I always think that so many lives are lost when someone dies in this way.  Not just tragically the person who has been killed but also the person who has committed the crime.  Surely when he is caught and sitting in his cell faced with a minimum of at thirty years in prison – surely, but surely he must ask himself, was it worth it? I’ve heard that at the beginning of their sentence, you can hear their wails of despair and tears  for days echoing down the prison cells and the other inmates try everything to block out the sounds.

For their Mums too have lost a son – alive on the outside, but dead in prison. When released he’ll be an old man.

Was it worth it?  Why don’t these boys think of the consequences?

In any case, the reporting of this march has at the very least made me stop and think about the those Mothers on both sides of the coin, who have lost a child.

The whole situation is heartbreaking.

Getting your Groove Back:

Lucy Cope and Mothers like her have shown such courage through what is still and will for be for many years to come, a difficult time.  I and many others pray for strength like hers.

I’m sure she feels like curling up in a ball- but no. Instead she has chosen to fight and bring about change so that her pain and the loss of her son, will not be in vain.

That is what we call Groove.

For Better For Worse – When to stick to your vows and when not to

The wife of Dr Edwin Ewin, the guy who was found guilty of poisoning the drinks of his pregnant lover to induce an abortion, is sticking by him!

You want to know what’s more? Dr Edwin Ewin’s work colleagues didn’t know he was even married AND his wife said she was fully aware that in the past, he has had several long term mistresses.

His pregnant lover, Bella Prowse, was also unaware that he was married whilst they were dating and became suspious of when he’s desire for her to have an abortion got a bit cranky and yellow powered residue was floating on the top of a cup of tea he had bought for her .

The wife, Lowri Phylip, said his lover was a silly woman and was nonetheless, as Dolly Parton put it in her classic love song, standing by her man.

Wo! – commitment to the very end eh. This woman wasn’t messing when she said, ‘I do’!

She said she felt contempt towards the judicial system for choosing to believe this woman over and above her ‘respectable husband Doctor’  - Dr Poison had claimed, that it was his lover who tried to poison herself to stitch him up.

I think Mrs Lowi is a tad delusional don’t you?

Still, who am I to judge.  If I was as insecure as Mrs Lowi and had lived through her life experiences, who’s to say that I wouldn’t be saying the same nonsense myself. There’s many of us who’ve lived in denial in the past, albeit to a more or lesser degree.  Not a problem I think as long as we acknowledge that no matter how much we want to bury the truth to the deep recesses of our mind,  it will resurface.  Thus, the longer we take to face it, the bigger the emotional explosion when do.

I recall another situation like this when I was living in Islington.  My neighbour’s husband confessed to abusing their kids.  However, the wife had convinced herself that it possibly wasn’t true as he was having a break down at the time and didn’t really know what he was saying- hence like Mrs Lowi and our wee Dolly’s love song, she was standing by her man.

Getting your Groove Back Tip:

Well I’m gob smacked with this one just as I was with my neighbour all them years back.  Talk about taking your vows to the bitter end.  With all said and done however, I am only left with sad thoughts on this situation and those are this…

Firstly, it makes me wonder what lengths women will go to just to be able to say they are married.

Secondly and most importantly it makes me remember that as woman, mum, carer and the like, we really have to learn to love ourselves first.  That’s groove.

We have to be brave and trust.

It is said, we should face the truth and the truth will  set us free.

If we walk, everything will be okay.

Things will work out.

They always do.

Its the universal law.

Jealousy aka Failed Potential Syndrome!

She’s a slim and pretty Mum whose married to a hunk who is charming and witty.  The kids are beautiful, perfect and smart and they all live happily together in a beautiful home in a lovely area.

The nightmare thickens – they are all really lovely people. You can’t even hate them.

Jealous?

According to an article in today’s news we are living in an era where it is deemed possible to have it all, so when people we know have something that we secretly wish for, we suffer from

Failed Potential Syndrome

aka, ENVY.

A common response to the above scenario therefore is, why her and not me.

Effects your lifestyle too!

The situation also extends itself to one’s career where many felt that their current profession is boring and wished they had their best friends job.

Personally, I’ve always felt that there were two types on envy.  The healthy envy, where another persons situation seeks only to inspire you and, the extremely unhealthy envy, which eats away at you and causes you to attack,  gossip about or put down those you are jealous of.

I think if it’s that important to you, anything is indeed possible and is more about doing something about your own unhappy situation – no matter how small.

In truth, it’s so much easier to sit there and moan about and to come up with a billion reasons as to why you are where you are or doing what your doing.

Getting your Groove Back Tip:

Stop busying yourself with other people.  We were all born with our own unique gifts.  Figure out what is your unique gift and focus on that.  You’ll be amazed what you’ll discover about yourself.

And no, it’s never too late to make a change (that’s just another one of your excuses).

Styling Tips – Find YOUR Style

It is much easier for Mums to shop for clothes these days as most shops have their target audiences in mind.  Once you find a shop that works for you, stick with it.  However, try to avoid buying everything they have on the dummy as this just makes you a walking advert for the shop and shows a lack of creativity.

Moreover, with shops such as Primark, Matalan, New Look, Zara and TK Maxx selling fabulous pieces at great prices, there really is no excuse  for Mums not to look good these days.  The secret is mixing cheap with slightly more expensive or cheap and more expensive accessories.  Never, ever, do all cheap!

Indeed, the challenge lies in making sense of it all and picking out items that will suit and flatter You.

As a starting point concentrate on working with the colour of your skin and eyes and work with colours that is part of your overall colour tonal range.

For example, dark skinned and black skinned Mums can’t go wrong with Autumnal browns and rustic  yellows and oranges.  For Blondes and pale skinned Mums, you can get away with black as the contrast looks great against your skin tones. Don’t go too overboard on black however, unless you have a a really strong personality to match it.  Too much black, on someone with a softer personality will effect on their moods and suppress them.

Getting your Groove Back Tip:

Don’t make the mistake of seeing something nice on someone else and thinking that it will look great on you.  Pay them a compliment by telling them the item or that colour is lovely and looks great on them.

Mum Murders her Kids

The trial of the Mum who stabbed to death her two teenage children when her marriage broke down in 2007 starts today.

As loving Mothers, I’m sure that that the first thing to cross our minds is how could a Mother do such a thing to her children?

For me, my thoughts went a little deeper than the reports transpired so far.  I couldn’t help but  wonder why none of the reports focused on the state of this Mothers mind leading up to the events.  It was quoted, with little emphasis however, that she said, at least the children will be safe now.

I wonder what she meant by that?

The father of the children on the other hand was dished out a couple of halo’s to stack neatly above his head like a saint.

He may well indeed be a saint, but I just can’t help wondering how much his actions may have contributed to the poor mental health of his ex-wife? With her being a single Mother AND  another failed relationship to contend with, did he show compassion for her current situation when he was dealing with her and issues relating to the kids? Who knows.

I stress, this doesn’t by any means justify her actions.  It’s just that I know the Father of my child had on occasions when my son was younger, driven me insane by his mind games and I  wobbled ferociously on the fence that separated sanity from insanity.

He left me when my son was just a few months old and was so incredibly spiteful,  often spiting my son in order to spite me, I was sure I was going to end up in a nut house. Although we get on well now, he does on occasions still play the odd mind games, I just know how to handle him.

I remember too witnessing an argument in the street between what appeared to be between a Mother and her ex Husband.  Present was his young girlfriend and their young daughter, who looked around age 5 or six.

The Mother was really distressed and screaming at her child to come away from the father.

She was shouting at them saying ‘He doesn’t love you.  He doesn’t care about you anymore, come here. what makes him think he can pick and choose the days he sees you?’

The Father remained calm,  red faced and stood there holding his  girlfriends hand whilst simultaneously, calming the daughter down who like the Mother was in a terrible state.   But still, remained holding hands with his new partner! Talk about adding salt to the wounds and showing a bit of  scruples - not!

It was a sad scene filled with so much pain and many a lost dreams for both Mother and Child.  I still feel emotional now even though this happened a few years back.

I appreciate that I am making a lot of assumptions here, however, when the father of your child leaves you for someone else and a younger model and in this Mums case, a younger model too, it is not easy and one would really have to be in the situation to fully understand how this feels.

My sons’ Dads new girlfriend, who he was seeing whilst I was pregnant (something he denies) was not even younger, nor better looking, yet it was a painful experience that took years to get over. The dream of the two point two kids, the ‘Waltons’ and ‘Little House in the Praire’ fantasy was over just like that in a puff smoke.

Like I said, I am not justifying any woman taking the lives of her children and since writing this she was indeed found guilty of murder as it was proved that she killed the kids just to spite her ex-husband.  But as a Mother, call me naive but I just feel that she couldn’t possibly have been in her ‘right’ state of mind.

I just question too the need for more support groups for woman with children who have become separated from their partners  and wonder if those kids would still be alive today had there been better support structures or groups in place.

Moreover, research has shown that women are financially worst off when they separate from their ex’s and that Men are financially better off!

All this simply adds to the emotional strain. You can’t even afford to go out to meet someone new yourself or afford decent clothes to feel better about yourself.  All this whilst he’s hot footing it around town and travelling the world with some young chicklet on his arm, whist you’re having to feed the 5000 with two loaves and five fishes.

Moreover, handling Terrible Twos, Chicken Pox and numerous trips back and forth to A and E hospitals, alone, is no easy task. I know because I’ve done it.

Getting your Groove Back Tip:

Unless you’ve been through it yourself – don’t judge.

And if you’re going through it…Trust me, you do get over it and get quite pissed with yourself that you wasted all those days and nights worried about the jerk and his silly new girlfriend.  Once you get over it too, you then meet a hunk of your own, or find complete happiness living by yourself and your kid/s and couldn’t think of anything worst than living with someone else and having to put up with all their stuff!